Jackass of the Week - DIABLO Edition

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Charlie Crist (Oompa Loompa - Green Iguana)
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By now every political junkie and news hound has heard that the Sunshine State's incumbent governor, and media darling since 2006, has chosen to abandon his seemingly impossible quest to capture the GOP nomination to U.S. Senate, and instead has decided after talking with the voters of Florida (allegedly) to ride into the general election as an "Independent." Translation: the GOP base, which never trusted him to begin with, has found a better candidate to carry the torch in November, and Chucky's ego can't handle the disappointment of no longer being on the party's A-list. AZDB won't go on a rant here, but instead will lay out the pattern. Similar circumstances took place in 2009 via the Keystone State, when 5th -term (sigh) Senator Arlen Specter (D - for the moment) abandoned the Republican Party when it was clear to him that he was more likely to find a three-legged ballerina than to be re-nominated in the PA GOP Primary. So both Specter and Crist did what any good "moderate Republican" would do when facing eminent defeat because the GOP base thinks he blows goats: take his ball and go home by swiching parties. (Hey, it worked for Dede Scuzzyfavabeans in 2009, who not only dropped out the weekend before the NY-23 special election, but also endorsed the Democrat in the race- ensuring his victory. Nothing like taking the verdict of the polls like a man, right Dede?) At least Specter had the guts to actually switch to the DemocRAT party (a decision he now says may have been in error...Nice spine, Arlen.). Chucky, while calling himself an "Independent voice," is really just a DIABLO (Democrat In All But Label Only). Know any Independents that have hugged B Hussein Obama since his inauguration? Neither do I.

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For those that care to see his official defection & re-launch-as-independent here is the video (Warning: Have barf bags in the ready & locked position.):

Say what you will, but you gotta love Chucky playing both the "God card" and the "family card" right out of the box. And from someone leaving the Republican Party. Live long enough and you will have seen everything. Also notice the crowd around him that got paid - errrr, showed up to support his decision of conscience - might be deemed a bit small for a once-popular sitting governor that had been talked about by a fawning press corpse (spelling intentional) as a future presidential candidate. Add in the golf claps and you have less interest at the scene as you would for the Division III collegiate women's water polo championship. These people don't know that not only Crist's campaign chair and former mentor, Connie Mack has abandoned his bid, but the man whom the Governor apppointed to fill the remaining Senate term, George "Not Mario" LeMieux, also thinks he's off his rocker? Said LeMieux: “I am saddened that my friend, Governor Crist, has decided to leave the Republican Party. Our friendship runs deep, but my commitment to the principles of the Republican Party runs deeper. I cannot walk down the path he has chosen." It's like his fans see the iceberg ready to hit the Titanic and then ask if there are extra spots on board.

For those alarmed that Mr. Crist could be a spoiler for Marco Rubio (R) and either swing the race in the general election to Kendrick Meeks (D - Nowhereville), rest assured. Chucky has no reasonable mathematical path (math path?) to victory. An accountant by trade, AZDB has crunched the numbers using the roughly 40D, 40R, 20I split of midterm voters that Florida had in 2006 (a bad year for GOP turnout nationally). Yes, registered independents really are that big an afterthought in Florida. Here it's all about turning out the base. Under a best-case scenario for Chucky, if he were to get 20% of GOP voters (not likely, but possible), 30% of Democrats (who may want to play spoiler for Rubio, knowing Meeks is all but the Dem's sacrificial lamb), and a whopping 60% of Independents (again, not likely), he winds up with 32% total. No mathematical scenario to date allows a three-man-race to be won with only 32%. Meeks just doesn't have enough support from moderate Democrats or crossover Republicans to win either. Hence, short of Marco Rubio being rocked by scandal (Only one man in this race is in danger of being, ahem, outed, if he hasn't already been.), it's his Senate seat come November.

And Chucky Crist will continue to fool himself through November even with former supporters running from the stinky skunk and contributions drying up faster than an Arizona river (He won't even give more than "pro-rated" refunds to GOPers who cut his campaign checks.). After November he'll probably wind up annoying the crap out of us with a recurring role in an auto insurance commercial (or 10). But he's doing it for you, voters of Florida! The fact that he has fooled himself into thinking you all will buy it in the end makes him the Jackass of the Week..

- AZDB